Wednesday, June 07, 2006

My backtack has two heads!

Well, I made two heads and will choose between them. I am making two softies and deciding which I like best. I was totally torn on the fabric so there you go! But isn't it supposed to be done and to our partners by saturday? Why, yes, it is. And Alicia's will be hand delivered by my handsome hubby on friday. He works pretty close to her place and with school wrapping up for the kidlets, its busy busy busy. Its all starting to take shape and I'm feeling pretty happy with it.
So do you ever have those moments where the teenager you think you are gets the cold water in her face and realizes, hey, you are OLD!!! Did I forget that I am almost the same age as my mom when she had that birthday party when she turned forty and everyone brought her canes and Depends? I so vivdly remember that party for her. I must have been about 16. Now I am 36 (37 in a couple of weeks) and I don't recall feeling much different. Well, tonight we interviewed a new babysitter. In walks this 5'11" tan and blonde and young and not wrinkly and looking well rested and smelling good and dressing cute and I think I saw myself through her eyes for a minute and I am that oler lady. That "Mam" that the people in stores call me now. I am not a Mam! I don't look like a Mam! Right? Wrong! I must look like that Mam becuase its not one or two that call me that. Its pretty much all of them. There is the odd "Miss" thrown my way and I swear I practically tear up when I hear it. I have never been one to care about "getting old" but this year, I care. I have never freaked out on a birthday and this year I feel like I might freak out a bit. I think this year has been so rife with odd changes and realizations that I am really more introspective and concious of things. Thats somewhat good and somewhat bad. I am still processing things and I think I want to do something with all of these feelings but I am not sure what. I know one of the issues has got to be that I feel like I have been losing little bits of me ever so slightly since I had kids. Its funny to feel that way when having my kids and being a Mom is pretty much It for me. There is nothing I love more. Maybe thats one reason why I have let some of me slip away. I think thats one reason why I am gravitating toward this blogging process and community. It gets me makin' things which is something I have always always done (but had let fall by the wayside)and it gets me connecting with peers in similar situations. So thats good. On that note, my two heads need a body . Off I go.


Blogger kathy b said...


Your blog is one year old now. THAT is an accomplishment. Sorry you are feeling the old stuff, but I choose to be so grateful that I am getting older, that it helps me to think of it that way. I have too many friends, patients, etc who arent' as lucky as I am at 45.

But you go ahead and have a good "boo-hoo" as my friend Vee always says. I think when my young adult children ( I avoid the word teenagers, it has such a negative connotation these days!)
became that "age of Beauty" as my older sis and I say, I too felt a getting old feeling myself. It is such a common thing for us in our looks priority society. So silly.

Have you ever seen Real Women have Curves. Enjoy yourself and rent it. Its a lovely lovely movie with a great message for all.

You sewing skills astound me. Sewing is on my never will be able to do that list in life. I love that you garage sale. I do too. Such wonderful finds for so little.

Have a better day. End of school year hype is also very draining on the families. My young adults finished their year yesterday and the freedom I feel is so wonderful.

8:09 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Hope you have a wonderful birthday, Miss.

4:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
See you.

5:34 AM  

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